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Negotiations going badly? Yuk it up.
During the Cuban missile crisis, as negotiators deadlocked and
millions watched in terror, a member of the Russian negotiating team
is said to have posed the following riddle: "What is the difference
between capitalism and communism?" The answer: "In capitalism, man
exploits man. In communism, it is the other way around!"
A sense of humor is a tremendous asset to any dealmaker. Oh, we
may think business negotiation is just about numbers, schedules,
contracts and the like, but it's really about psychology, rapport
and trust. Here, humor is one of our best tools.
When negotiations begin, everyone is a little nervous. It's
natural. There may be a lot at stake and no matter how skilled,
prepared and well-positioned you are, you might find yourself
outmaneuvered. With tensions running high, there's no better social
lubricant than humor. As Victor Borge once said, "Laughter is the
shortest distance between two people."
As discussions grind on, humor brings perspective and can
stimulate creative solutions, like this one: "I wanted a new TV. My
wife wanted a new car. So we compromised. We got the TV, but keep it
in the garage." We've already seen how laughter can bust an impasse.
But did you also know it can actually help you cut a better deal? In
one study, researchers found that buyers who smiled and offered to
throw in their pet frog (funny, right?) as part of their final
offers got better prices than their humorless counterparts.
And when deals derail, humor can soften an aggravated adversary.
When Louis Armstrong was called on the carpet for violating his
exclusive contract with one record company by performing for
another, he offered the following apology: "It wasn't me . . . and
I'll never do it again!"
Now I'm not suggesting you approach your next deal like open mike
night at the local comedy club. If you're too much of a kidder, you
may come off as glib, clownish or simply unprofessional. And, of
course, there are times when silent rage or a well-orchestrated
outburst is the better approach. But in my opinion, people will do
more for you if they like you, and they'll like you more if you can
smile and laugh.
So, as Herb Cohen says, "take your negotiations seriously, but
not too seriously." When things get tense, don't wait until all
parties are hissing through their teeth. Take a chance. Crack a
joke. If you don't think you're funny, cultivate your sense of
humor. Learn to laugh at yourself. Become an active humor consumer
at bookstores, on TV, at movie theaters or on the Internet. Start a
file of items you think are funny and share them. Practice telling
jokes. Quotes, lists, analogies, comebacks and even standard
one-liners are types of humor anyone can use. Just make sure you
avoid the sarcastic, ethnic and insulting kinds.
Personal anecdotes are great because they're true, uniquely yours
and generally easy to tell. Here's one of mine: I once worked with
an Academy Award-winning producer who was the scion of a wealthy and
prominent family. Somehow, someone had hired a consultant for one of
his pictures who was not only glib, arrogant and dishonest, but was
running the picture way over budget. We needed to settle him out of
his contract quickly and quietly, but I was so mad I could hardly
think straight.
My client put things into perspective by putting me in stitches.
"Marc," he said, "just offer him a hundred bucks . . . mostly cash!"
Later that day, I settled everything smoothly.
By Marc Diener
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